I saw Rich Hall, the American comedian, on television once and he talked about “Fun Sized” Mars bars. They’re tiny little things, you can almost inhale them. “Is this really the size of fun?” he mused. Gimme a concrete-mixer full of milk chocolate and that’s far more my style.
K’s had their Family Fun Day on Saturday – from the perspective of someone who was hiding in the press box area all afternoon, it seemed to go quite alright. When Rosey and I got to the ground, I spotted the very sad-looking bouncy something-or-other, I don’t know if it was a castle or what it was, but there was no-one bouncing on it, nor was there likely to be anyone bouncing on it for a while as we arrived at the ground not long after a glorious rainstorm. Health and safety would have had kittens if anyone was attempting to partake in the fun of the bounce in wet conditions like that. So, an isolated, empty, unloved bit of bounciness sat quietly behind one end of the ground, quite likely to not have fulfilled its promise for the day with no-one to blame but the weather.
The weather did dry enough for there to be plenty of willing victims of the face painting lady, though no-one dared to ask for the national flag of Belize to be depicted on somebody’s nose or such like. And also, more up my street, I saw lots of small Kingstonian teddy bears running around the ground all afternoon. I have in my teddy bear congregation one of these small bears, adopted by me even before they went on sale (seeing as Rosey is in charge of sourcing club shop stuff, they usually arrive chez nous direct from the suppliers). I named my bear “Eric”. No idea why, he just looks like an Eric, so watching a goodly number of Erics gamboodling around King George’s Field was a little surreal even by my standards. Finally, there was the Type 2 diabetics’ delight, with a guess the number of sweets in a jar competition – this had the best prize possible, to be honest, which was the sweets themselves (don’t know if the jar was part of the prize or was on loan but I digress…). Anyway, I was primarily there for the football, would the football be fun?
I suppose the answer is more probably leaning towards yes. There are definitely things that need ironing out with the K’s squad, but to be critical in any way in the middle of July is going to be silly. Farnborough took a two goal lead, you could tell from the scorer of the first one that he didn’t mean it; it was a ball into the box that took its own trajectory and floated calmly past Rob Tolfrey who stood there, like everyone else, wondering what the heck was going on. Their second goal was just as fortuitous when a shot at goal took what journos love to call a “wicked” deflection and again floated calmly past Rob Tolfrey. That suggests that Farnborough were fortunate, but this is not so as they started by far the better team. It took K’s a little too long to wake up and, shortly before half time, they got one back when Youssef Bamba finished off a nice move.
K’s then spent most of the second half emulating the K’s team of the early 2018-19 season in finding new and curious ways to not score. Farnborough’s goalkeeper played a blinder, we were getting ever more creative with our missed chances, Farnborough zoomed down the other end and scored, finishing the game off. Oh well, another pre-season defeat, however one hopes that it was another vital step towards a) match fitness and b) working out what our best squad is going to be. We still have numerous players out for varying reasons, players that you would think would be in the starting eleven, but as long we keep progressing and then hit the ground running on 10th August against what will be a good and extremely fired up Cray Wanderers team in their first match back in the Premier for five years, then I give us a good chance of a good result on opening day.
Tonight is a trip to Whitehawk, but it’s going to happen without me. Therefore we will win. Anyway, hot weather and me are in no way compatible, so I will be trying to keep the temperature to merely boiling at home and try to ride it out until this current hot spell apparently finishes on Friday, and then maybe we will visit Tonbridge on Saturday…